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Pipeworks Ninja Vs. Unicorn

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Pipeworks sez that this beer "celebrates the epic battle between two of the biggest hop-heads of lore." I think we all know how this matchup turns out: the Ninja clearly defeated the Unicorn so badly that no one even believes the latter ever existed. Not content with the easy answer, I developed a thorough computer simulation, Deadliest Warrior-style*, to pit these two foes together in battle. I won't bore you with the details, but I assure you that this simulation is comprehensive. Unfortunately, due to budgetary constraints, I could not afford to stage and film a reenactment. After 1000 runs in the simulator, it was close, but the Ninja again won out, thus confirming intuition. That'll learn me.

Pipeworks Ninja vs. Unicorn

Pipeworks Ninja Vs. Unicorn - Pours a golden brown color with several fingers of fluffy off white head and great retention/lacing. Smells great, sweet citrus and dank pine hop character, some floral notes playing around the edges. Taste starts off sweet, with those dank, piney, resinous hops really asserting themselves quickly, with those citrus and floral notes playing background role, eventually intensifying to a bitter finish. Mouthfeel is highly carbonated, on the upper end of medium bodied, maybe the faintest hint of booze. Overall, I'd easily put this on par with Simcoe Ninja, and while I wish I had a fresher bottle (not that it's that old, per say), I really enjoyed it. A-

Beer Nerd Details: 8.5% ABV bottled (22 oz bomber). Drank out of an Alchemist stemless glass on 9/27/13. Batch 185. Bottled 8/9/13.

Thus concludes my current stash of Pipeworks beer, but don't fret, I'm sure I'll wrangle some more at some point.

* I was somewhat surprised to learn that my comprehensive computer simulation (which consisted of me staring at the ceiling for 5 seconds and just deciding that Ninjas are more badass than Unicorns by simple fiat) was almost as thorough as the Deadliest Warrior's simulation. "5 years in the making!" they say, and I suppose it was, but not by them - it turns out that the simulation is simply a slightly tweaked version of a video game called Great Battles of Rome.**

** It's a testament to the relevance of this blog that I've spent the majority of this post wanking about a TV show that was cancelled 2 years ago, isn't it?

Pipeworks Simcoe Ninja

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Boy meets beer, boy likes beer, boy homebrews beer, boy gains experience in Belgium, boy does a Kickstarter, boy wins bigtime. And by "boy", I mean, uh, two guys: Beejay Oslon and Gerrit Lewis. Another class of 2012 brewer... in fact, according to RateBeer, they were the best new brewery in the world last year (nudging out, of all breweries, Tired Hands, which came in #2). So big deal, right? Well, considering that there were over 1900 new breweries in the world last year, that actually is a pretty sweet deal.

Last week, Tired Hands got a cease and desist order on the name of one of their two staple beers. Brewery Vivant makes a beer called Farm Hand and sought to protect their trademark from Tired Hands' FarmHands. This legal wrangling is a topic I should probably write more about at some point, but seeing as though this is a post about Pipeworks, I'll just get to the point:

This is, of course, a reference to one of Tired Hands' absurdly named beers (The Light That Spills Out of the Hole In your Head), and that tweet immediately endeared me to Pipeworks. Other breweries pitched in and made amusing suggestions as well (including Hill Farmstead, Sante Adairius, Prairie, and others), but me, I was just glad that a box filled with Chicago goodies (including Pipeworks) was already on its way to my house. A few days later, I rejoiced and popped open my first Pipeworks beer.

Pipeworks Simcoe Ninja

Pipeworks Simcoe Ninja - Pours a surprisingly dark amber orange color with a finger or tow of fluffy white head and a nice lacing pattern as I drink. Smells fantastic, sugary sweet, with lots of fruity, pineapple hop character. Taste has that big citrus and pine hop character, but also a solid malt backbone and a well balanced bitterness towards the finish. The notion of a west coast IPA is a bit nebulous, but this is NOT a West Coast IPA. Very East Coast stuff here, which is fine by me (I'm reminded of Weyerbacher's Double Simcoe, though this is better). Mouthfeel is medium to full bodied, but very crisply carbonated. Maybe just a bit of boozy stickiness in the swish. Not a chuggable beer or anything, but it's not a sipper either. I'm not getting a lot of booze out of this either, which is impressive given the 9.5% ABV. Overall, I haven't had something I'd call an East Coast IPA that was this good in a while. Really great stuff, worth seeking out. A-

Beer Nerd Details: 9.5% ABV bottled (22 oz. bomber). Drank out of a tulip glass on 9/6/13. Batch #192, bottled 8.22.13.

So yes, moar Pipeworks please. I've got another bottle in the fridge, just raring to go. Stay tuned!

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Hi, my name is Mark, and I like beer.

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This page is an archive of recent entries in the Pipeworks category.

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