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Tired Hands Conspectus

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Now that the Fermentaria is open, it's getting difficult to keep up with the sheer variety of awesome emanating from the fine brewers at Tired Hands. I still hit up one location or another pretty often, but the small batch style simply yields a lot of new brews. Also, I'm getting more and more lazy about writing down any sort of notes on the beer I'm having, which means it's getting difficult to even remember what I've had. Still, I manage to squirrel away some notes every now and again, so I might as well append them to the more detailed tasting notes on two highly prized bottles.

First up is Parageusia5, a Cabernet Franc barrel-fermented Ale, aged for approximately 12 months. This is a prized line of sours, and this one takes a distinctly more Flandersy take than previous Parageusias, and while it doesn't quite live up to the hallowed realms of the first few iterations, it's pretty darned fantastic. This quote accompanies the beer:

"Trigeminal prisim on a sunny hillside. Will you engage indefinitely?" - Christian Zellersfield

I can kinda, sorta parse that, and my answer is yes. I will engage indefinitely. Or I would, but I only had this one bottle:

Tired Hands Para5

Tired Hands Parageusia5 - Pours a very dark, clear amber color, very pretty when held up to light, with a finger of off white head that sticks around for a bit. Smells of vinous fruit, cherries, oak, and acetic sourness, kinda Flandersy. Taste starts rich and sweet, cherries and oak followed by a bit of acetic sourness, vinegar, vinous fruit, finishing on that sour note. Mouthfeel is full and rich up front, but less so towards the finish, moderate sourness and acidity, reasonably well carbonated. Overall, doesn't quite compare to the initial Parageusia offerings, but is pretty impressive in its own right. Also: match with dark chocolate. Delicious. A-

Beer Nerd Details: Squiggle, Squiggle ABV bottled (500 ml waxed cap, no ABV listed, just various squiggles and tentacled creatures on the label). Drank out of a flute glass on 9/6/15.

Next we have one of them swanky beer and music collaborations, in this case it's jazz musician Mike Lorenz, who released an album of Black Sabbath and Nirvana covers along with this beer (Jean provided the art for the album, git that vinyl while it's still around), Scentless And Senseless. Lorenz is a fixture at Tired Hands, playing a show once a week and sometimes humoring the beer nerd masses during bottle releases. This beer is an oak fermented Saison dry hopped with Equinox and Mosaic, right up my alley:

Tired Hands Scentless and Senseless

Tired Hands Scentless And Senseless - Pours a very pale, cloudy straw yellow color with a finger of white head. Smell definitely has that foudre thing going on, a little oak and vanilla, big citrus aromas too, partly from the funk, partly from hops. Taste hits again with that foudre character pretty hard, dry oak, vanilla, some citrusy fruit in the middle, just a bit of tartness, followed by some earthy funk in the finish. Mouthfeel is well carbonated, light body, hints of sourness, some very dry character happening, right up front too. Overall, a step up from the previously released foudre bottle (Astral Plane), and pretty delicious in its own right. A-

Beer Nerd Details: 6.6% ABV bottled (500 ml). Drank out of a flute glass on 9/12/15.

Dudholio - 4.5% ABV maize saison with motueka and Brett - Great little saison, light Brett feel, moderate fruity hops, and well carbed, really enjoying this! A-

Milkshake IPA - 7.4% ABV blackberry and blueberry IPA brewed with lactose sugar and Mosaic and Citra hops - So a while back one of the "Bros." from BeerAdvocate published a review of a cloudy pour of HopHands and called it a mess (the Bros. have a bug up their arse about beer clarity, I guess), saying literally "Milkshake beers are not a trend or acceptable with modern styles... No excuses." In response, Jean and crew have put together a series of "Milkshake" IPAs (that actually use lactose and are also generally cloudy beers); as usual, it's a fun way to respond to criticism. Anywho, this was a great Tired Hands style IPA, juicy fruit, fuller bodied than normal but velvety smooth, great! A

Hissing at Snakes - 7.5% ABV Rye IPA - Simcoe, Amarillo, and Nelson Sauvin, typically great TH IPA with a spicy rye kick, really nice! A-

Neutral Impulse From The Visual Cortex - 6.2% ABV IPA - Nice citrus hops and a surprising honey note, almost creamy mouthfeel... B+

Expansive Vestibule - 6.1% ABV sturdy Porter - Nice nose, dark chocolate and vanilla, with a more roasty taste and a relatively light body... B+

Einsteinium - 5% ABV hoppy sour - Not a huge fan of hoppy sours in general, though this is working just fine... B

Rutilant - 5.9% ABV Nelson Sauvin & Simcoe IPA - Beautiful little IPA, typical Tired Hands stuff but with significantly more carbonation, really nice... (IIRC this is one of the first beers I had at the Fermentaria, which seems to have a different carbonation profile) A-

Temporary Shape of My Own Person - 5.2% ABV Grissette - Like a slightly tart version of a typical th saison, crisp and light, refreshing summer drinking... B+

Vaporizer - 6.8% ABV IPA - Ah, now this is a typical TH IPA , bright, juicy citrus hops, something a little more on the green, grassy, floral hop side as well. Nice! B+ or A-

I'm Sad - 8.5% ABV imperial honey coffee Porter - Interesting interplay between the honey and coffee, both are there, but the combo sorta works for me, despite not particularly liking either honey or coffee! B

Can't Keep Up 23 - 5% ABV blended sour saison - Whoa cucumbers, blend of HandFarm, Parageusia, and Saisonhands conditioned on lemon, cucumber and agave nectar, tasty! Have liked other Can't Keep Up beers better, but this is nice. B+

Slowly Rotating Mass With Bright Lights - 5.2% ABV crushable pineapple IPA - Solid IPA, delicious and juicy, very light and quaffable, A-

Rigel - 6.8% Rye India Black Ale - This is all I wrote about this beer, and yeah, I don't really remember anything about it, though I'm guessing that means it didn't melt my face (nor did it make me do a spit take in disgust).

Fripp - 4.5% ABV American Bitter - Very nice bitter base with sweeter, more citrusy hop character, quaffable in the extreme! B+

Honey, I Love You - 5.8% ABV Honey Saison - Beautiful little saison here, nice citrus and spice character, a little oak and tartness in the finish... Foudre beer starting to come into its own. Delicious! A-

Avoiding Purgatory #1 - 6.6% ABV India Black Ale - Hrm, surprisingly muted hops and roasted malt here, one of those IBAs that makes me wish I was drinking an IPA or Stout instead of this quasi hybrid. Lack of roast probably has to do with the use of debittered black malt, but the hops (lemon drop and centennial) aren't doing the trick... Not really bad, to be sure, but TH has done much better in this realm! B

Yup - 5.1% ABV hoppy blonde ale - Amazing citrus nose, lemons and tropical fruit, tasty stuff! B+

Nope - 4.2% ABV dry stout - Polar opposite of Yup, dark, roasty, earthy goodness. B+

Rob "Strawberry" Berliner - 6% ABV strawberry Berliner Weisse - Very nice, lots of ripe, tart strawberry goodness, very well balanced, delicious. A-

Wound - 7.3% oat IPA - Awesome, back to basics Tired Hands style IPA, citrusy and floral, delicious! A-

Calm - 4.2% crushable IPA - Nice light pale ale, quaffable and refreshing. B+

Tuff Leather - 1.5% table saison - Whoa, beer nerd lite beer, nice carbonation profile, grassy, bready, a little watery, but not in a bad way for what this is... Very impressive for such a low ABV beer. B+

It's Okay - 7.6% ABV IPA - Nice IPA, sweeter than normal, lots of citrus, hints of dank pine, more body than normal, but really good stuff here... B+

Yellow & Green - 5.6% ABV dry hopped Pilsner - Dry hopped with Ella and Helga, 2 hops I've never heard of before! Earthy, grassy, floral, with enough citrus to take it away from traditional pils profile, nice! B+

Perfectly Preserved Brain - 8.2% ABV English Smoked Barleywine - Moar earthy than expected, sweet, slightly burnt bread, interesting, but not amazing.. B

Lambos & Mansions - 4.8% ABV crushable Galaxy IPA - Nice citrus hop character, dry, quaffable stuff, very nice! B+

Fuzzy Yellow - 6.3% ABV local peach IPA - Typically solid th IPA, citrusy, balanced, tasty! B+

Petalite Songbird - 5.2% ABV gooseberry saison - Whoa, was not expecting the tart, fruity funk on this, really nice, looks like Emptiness culture stuff, which explains it. Great stuff... A-

Minnow - 8% ABV DIPA - Nelson Sauvin & Citra Very nice, sweet, delicious, juicy, almost vinous stuff. A-

Kuro - 5.5% lime leaf schwarzbier - Muted black malt, burnt sugar, something bright, very nice! B+

Pathway of Beauty - 6.8% ABV Citra IPA - Holy hell, this is amazing, juicy hops, compulsively quaffable, delicious IPA, a kinda successor to Psychic Facelift (one of my favorite TH IPAs of all time)... A

Tired Hands Freedom from the Known
Freedom from the Known

Freedom from The Known - 7.2% ABV Cherry saison - Whoa, this is the most cherry I've ever gotten out of a beer, ever. Sometimes cherry flavors in beer are overwhelmed by other elements, but not at all here. Cherries are the star. Kind of like a cherry version of Peche 'n Brett. Amazing, tart, delicious, a little oak mellows things out, dryish, great stuff. A

Mosaic MagoTago - 7% Mango IPA - An interesting twist on the standard Simcoe Mago, beautiful juicy citrus IPA. Hard to believe this was on at the same time as regular Mago, Pathway of Beauty and Freedom from the Known. An embarrassment of riches at the Fermentaria! A

FunnieDuddie - 6.5% ABV Nelson Sauvin and Simcoe IPA - Typically good th IPA, but damn, this suffers from the comparison to the rest of the tap list right now. B+?

Yellow Fog - 3.7% cucumber Berliner wieise - Really nice, cucumber comes through well, still a nice tart beer, tasty! B

Lychee Milkshake IPA - 7.2% IPA made with lactose sugar, lychee purée, vanilla, and citra/Mosaic hops - Sweet and juicy, lots of citrus, almost rich, full bodied mouthfeel... Great! A-

Phew, that covers about 6-8 months of visits to Tired Hands, and honestly, I probably missed a few things. Indeed! I forgot to mention that the latest couple batches of SaisonHands, Tired Hands' flagship saison (and one of two beers that is almost always available) that used to be a rock solid standard-approach saison, but now spends time in the foudre and wow! You can really tell, this beer has changed a ton since the Fermentaria opened, and it's pretty amazing that it's this regularly available. This is the sort of thing that keeps me coming back (also the potential for that one night they had MagoTago, Pathway to Beauty, and Freedom from the Known on tap, seriously astounding).

A couple years ago, I acquired a bottle of Great Divide's Barrel Aged Hibernation in a LIF. It was quite nice, but the barrel component wasn't quite as integrated as I expected. This could be because the bottle was nearly 2 years old or it could be that the Stranahan's barrels they used don't really live up to the more common bourbon barrel approach. The former could be addressed by snagging a fresh bottle of BA Hibernation (which I see are circulating in the area right now), but the latter will be more of a challenge since Stranahan's is relatively small, there aren't that many breweries that use their barrels, and then there's the fact that they have asked brewers not to disclose their name on labels anymore. Also, the nature of a small distillery like Stranahan's can lead to inconsistency, which could also translate to their barrels... I'm not an inconsistency hater and can even find it charming in some instances, but that doesn't make a true miss any less annoying!

All that being said, it's my understanding that Great Divide does still use Stranahan's for their barrel program, and when I saw this barrel aged barleywine (for 12 months, no less), I thought I'd give it a shot. I'm happy to report that this worked out better than the old ale (though it appears some folks have gotten infected bottles - mine was not, so I don't know how prevalent any of those issues was):

Great Divide Barrel Aged Old Ruffian

Great Divide Barrel Aged Old Ruffian - Pours a dark, murky amber brown color with a finger of off white had that sticks around for a bit. Smells of dark fruits, raisins, plums, with some caramel and toffee and hints of whiskey in the background. Taste goes to a similar place, rum soaked raisins and plums, hints of slightly boozy oak and whiskey, and a malt backbone of caramel and toffee, finishing with that touch of whiskey and vanilla. As it warms, it gets a bit deeper and the whiskey comes out a bit more. Mouthfeel is full bodied, tightly carbonated, with a moderate amount of richness from the barrel aging, silky smooth, with enough alcohol heat in the finish to keep it a sipper. Overall, very well executed bourbon barrel barleywine, quite a treat. A-

Beer Nerd Details: 10.2% ABV bottled (750 ml). Drank out of a tulip glass on 5/16/15. Bottled on: March 26, 2015.

This was very nice and makes me want to go out and grab another BA Hibernation, though I really shouldn't, as I'm drowning in good beer over here. I know, woe is me, but I've got to drink down my cellar a bit and oh, it looks like I've got a trip to Vermont on the near horizon, so this is going to be rough. For certain values of "rough".


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No, this beer is not named for the awesomely badass shark. Like all of Hanger 24's Barrel Roll series beers, it's named after an aerial maneuver which is, in itself, named after the badass shark. I think. I mean, I guess it could also be named after, you know, the head of a hammer. But I prefer to think it's the shark that drove the name. It's a turn-around maneuver where the plane goes vertical, appears to stall, then rotates as the plane descends in a quarter loop so that it's made a full 180° turn. Or something. I'm clearly not a pilot, and haven't even really played one in video games.

After Pugachev's Cobra introduced me to Hangar 24's barrel aged beer program, I quickly resolved to sample more from the series, and this Barleywine aged in rye whiskey and bourbon barrels certainly did the trick. So let's take this highway to the danger zone:

Hangar 24 Barrel Roll No 4 Hammerhead

Hangar 24 Barrel Roll No. 4 Hammerhead - Pours a deep, dark brown color with half a finger of slow forming head. Smells sticky sweet, toffee and caramel, werthers original, a little bourbon, oak, and vanilla, a sorta rum-soaked fruit thing going on too. Taste is very sweet, some sticky toffee, light caramel, brown sugar, rum soaked fruit, with boozy bourbon hitting in the finish. The mouthfeel starts out in a way that makes you think this is a big, rich, chewy, full bodied beer, but it quickly thins out a little, with the barrel aged richness dissipating into the hot, boozy finish. It is perhaps not as hot as Pugachev's Cobra, but it gets the job done. Overall, this is a pretty great barleywine, not quite top tier, but well worth the stretch. A high B+, maybe A- territory, but will need to try again. If only someone would twist my arm and give me another bottle.

Beer Nerd Details: 13.9% ABV bottled (750 ml caged and corked). Drank out of a snifter on 5/2/15. Vintage: March 2015.

Would be really curious how a spell in the cellar would treat this one, and may actually have an opportunity to try that out. In the meantime, will be brushing up on my aerobatics and on the lookout for more Barrel Roll beers.

Midnight Sun Arctic Devil

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Founded in 1995, Anchorage, Alaska's Midnight Sun Brewing Company was the brainchild of Mark Staples, a former computer nut who claims he became "obsessed with beer". Sounds familiar. While perhaps not a pioneering giant like Anchor or Sierra Nevada, 1995 was pretty early on for American craft beer (for instance, that was a year before the infamous class of 1996, which includes Victory, Stone, and Dogfish Head), and they were making this barrel aged barleywine pretty early on. At least as of the year 2000, if this Michael Jackson article is to be believed. He was part of a blind taste test and had this ranked third:

Arctic Devil is an extraordinarily creamy barley wine, aged for six months in a red wine barrel and its unusual flavours were deemed excessively rich and lacking in hop balance by some of the judges. Not a typical barley wine, but I gave it points for individuality.
How things have changed. As barrel aged barleywines go, this is actually a pretty good example. It's not typical, but only in that it's better than most.

He mentions that it was aged in Red Wine barrels, which could have something to do with the perceived atypicality (is that a word? It is now.) These days, the label sez that the beer is aged in Bourbon Oak Barrels, though the brewery also claims they've blended the spawn of diverse barrels, ranging from wine and port to bourbon barrels (seems heavy on the bourbon to me, which perhaps yields something more typical than a red wine barrel). On the other hand, clocking in at 20 IBUs, this definitely is on the extreme low end of the bitterness spectrum for barleywines (even if it didn't feel that way to me). Whatever the case, this is a pretty spectacular barleywine, well worth seeking out:

Arctic Devil

Midnight Sun Arctic Devil Barley Wine - Pours a murky brown color with a cap of tan head. Smells fantastic, candied fruits, toffee, caramel, vanilla, oak, and bourbon. Taste has rich caramel, toffee, a hint of dark fruits, oak and vanilla, bourbon, finishing with a touch of bitterness that is offset by some boozy bourbon (surprising, given the low IBUs - this seems very well balanced). Mouthfeel is full bodied, rich, and chewy, a hint of boozy heat, well carbonated, a little sticky in the finish. Feels along the lines of §ucaba or Bourbon County Barleywine, which is good company to be in. Overall, this is a delicious, superbly balanced, top tier barleywine. A

Beer Nerd Details: 13.4% ABV bottled (22 ounce bomber). Drank out of a snifter on 4/17/15. Vintage: 2015 (I think?)

Midnight Sun continues to impress. I will be seeking out more from them, post haste! I should also be looking into some other top tier barleywines that I've not managed to tick just yet. Patience, friends, all in good time.

Beer Club February

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Beer club was last Thursday! I started to write this recap when I got home, but I didn't get very far. As has been established frequently, I am the worst. But I'm here now to make amends. For the uninitiated, beer club is a monthly gathering of like-minded coworkers at a local BYOB for good food, optional libations, and general merriment. This time we checked out the newly opened West Chester branch of The Couch Tomato, a rather fine pizza establishment (in a sea of pizza places, this has immediately established itself in the local upper tier with America's Pie). I had a rather fine stromboli (called the "Italian Stallion") whilst imbibing the usual beery wares:

Beer Club for February 2015
(Click to embiggen)

For the sake of posterity, some thoughts on each are below. Since it's been a few days, these thoughts will be even more unreliable than normal, so take them with a giant, asteroid-sized lump of salt. In order of drinking (not necessarily the order in the pic):

  • Evil Genius Stacy's Mom - Has moderate amounts of goin' on. Citra hops come through a little, but it's not particularly accomplished compared to its Citra-based brethren. B
  • Jailbreak Welcome To Scoville Jalepeno IPA - Definitely a peppery beer, but not a ton of heat, which is nice. On the other hand, I feel like whatever hops it has going on are sorta canceled out by the pepper character. B-
  • Flying Dog Mexican Hot Chocolate Stout - Now this one has some heat to it, but it's a very well matched heat that matches better with the roasty chocolate notes of the base stout than an IPA. That being said, it wasn't exactly blowing me away. B
  • Alaskan Smoked Porter - I get the impression that sometimes people bring beers they bought but realized they don't actually want to drink a whole bottle of. I'm as guilty as anyone, and this is one such example. I don't mind the occasional smoked beer, but really haven't been in much of the mood for this sort of thing lately. As Smoked Porters go, this is a pretty great example. Still not exactly my thing though, and I'm glad I shared. B
  • Stone Enjoy By 02.14.15 IPA - Tastes about 5 days too old. Oh snap, breaking the law! Just kidding, it was fine, despite not following the rules on the bottle. It's a decent beer, and it's definitely grown on me, but I've never gotten the absolute love some folks show for this (and yes, I've had it fresh before too). B
  • Ballast Point Dorado Double IPA - Ah now this is the stuff. One of my contributions and a rock solid citrus and pine bomb, well balanced and tasty. B+
  • Armstrong Ales Bold Thady Quill - A pretty nice take on an Irish Dry Stout, roasty and light bodied. Not going to melt your face, but it'd make for a nice session. Also, probably not the best setting for this kind of beer. Would still love to try more from this local upstart. B
  • Kaedrin Trystero Barleywine - I feel like my keg should be empty right now, but it appears to be bottomless. The keg feels nearly empty, but I just filled up this 1 liter growler with no problem. Need to finish off that keg so I have somewhere to put an IPA! The beer itself is doing well enough. I do feel like I perhaps dosed it with a bit too much in the way of bourbon, which cuts down on some of the fruitier malt characters in the beer. Still good though. B+
  • Prairie Bomb! - Another of my contributions, I have to admit that I didn't realize this was a coffee dosed beer. I was really excited to try it, then initially disappointed by the coffee character. Still, I ended up drinking more of this than usual, and it grew on me. Rock solid and I can see why it's so popular, but it doesn't really approach my top tier. B+
  • Victory Moving Parts 03 - Technically, we'd left beer club and moved the party over to a local bar, which was having a Victory event. This was our initial pour, a Belgian IPA. Nice enough on its own, but nothing particularly eventful here. B
  • Victory Deep Cocoa - On cask with vanilla and something else that I don't remember. It could have been that I was just drunk at the time, but I kinda loved this. Deep, rich chocolate, vanilla, full body, really delicious stuff. Have not tried the regular version but this cask was hitting the spot, so let's give it an A-
And there you have it. Attendance was a little low, so I probably drank more than normal this time. Also, we didn't get to the Nugget Nectar, mostly because we've all had it several times already this year (even out of the can, which is, yes, very nice) but also because there were less of us there that night than normal. Crazily enough, some people didn't come because it was just super cold out (not snowing or anything, just really cold, low-single digits). I don't know what their problem is. Maybe I'm not the worst after all.

Tired Hands bottle releases happen about once a month or two, but in the past month, Jean has seen fit to hold 3 bottle releases. In January. I suspect Jean is trying to breed a new cold-resistant strain of beer nerd. Or perhaps to kill off lesser beer nerds, thus keeping the line to a manageable size. Judging from the incredulous Main Liners driving by and asking what the hell everyone is waiting in line for ("Justin Bieber tickets"), sitting around on the curb for 2-3 hours out front for just a few bottles of beer is a dubious way to spend time, but I usually manage. Best case, the folks around me are cool and we partake in much discussion and merriment. Worst case, I put in my headphones and zone out to an audiobook (chances are, if I were at home, I'd be in bed reading anyway). Still, after 3 releases in the freezing cold, I'm ready for my Believer's Club membership to go into effect.

Most releases are announced well in advance, but there are the occasional stealth releases, and sometimes they're at weird times. One such occasion was Thanksgiving eve, 2013. Jean announces that bottles of the first Emptiness series beer, Out of the Emptiness, would be available when they open at 4. Now, typical bottle releases range from about 400-600 bottles, with a bottle limit of 2-4 (generally optimizing it so that 150-200 folks can snag a bottle). I don't remember the specific number of bottles available that day, but Jean must have been feeling capricious and whimsical, because that day was on the lower range of bottles available, but the bottle limit was 6. I managed to get off work early, but missed out on bottles by about 10 folks in line. Dejected, my new friend Andrew (met in line) and I retired to the bar upstairs where we drowned our sorrows in the always stellar taplist and discussed the merits of aging Samichlaus (it being the holiday season and all). Then Jean saunters up, pours three glasses from an unmarked bottle, and gives them to three of us at the bar (in fact, this generosity may have been the result of the third guy, who seemed to be friends with Jean).

So thanks to that, I actually did get to try Out of the Emptiness, a wine-barrel fermented saison conditioned atop local Italian plums. As fate would have it, a second batch was made, and released just a couple weeks ago. So I finally got to enjoy a bottle of this stuff in the comfort of my own home:

Out of the Emptiness

Tired Hands Out of the Emptiness - Pours a beautiful, almost radiant amber orange color with a finger of fluffy very light pink (almost white) head. Smells of vinous fruit, cherries, plums, fruit by the foot, with some barnyard funk. The taste hits with that fruit up front, cherries, plums, grapes, with a bunch of oak tannins kicking in rather quickly, a bit of sourness emerges later in the taste. Finishes oaky and dry. Mouthfeel is medium bodied, well carbonated, and effervescent, mildly acidic, dry oak. From memory, batch one had a much less carbonated mouthfeel, which is something that does make a big difference for me. Not sure if the b1 bottles ever carbed up better, but I'm glad this new batch turned out well. Overall, really pleased I waited in line to snag some of these. A-

Beer Nerd Details: 7% ABV bottled (500 ml waxed cap). Drank out of a flute glass on 1/31/15. Batch 2 (2015 vintage).

In case it's not abundantly clear, and if you've gotten this far, it really should be, I end up at Tired Hands often. They usually have 8 taps on, and at least 2-3 will change over from week to week (and sometimes even more). Two and a half years in, they've remade a handful of their favorite stuff, but for the most part, once it's done, it's done, and you won't see it again. To that end, I figure I need to lord it over all you plebians, and post whatever notes I've taken over the past, yikes, year or so. In fairness, I don't take notes upon every visit (especially if, for example, I'm with a friend or otherwise conversing with the friendly folks at the bar), but I've still got quite a few notes piled up. I'll start with a recent one, but after that one, we've got beers dating back a year or so.


StonerWitch - 10.5% ABV Black Barleywine brewed with clementine juice and zest - I gather a lot of folks found this weird and off style. I found it strange and beautiful, which I believe was the intention, and really, really enjoyed it. Pours a deep dark brown, indeed almost black, with half a finger of short lived tan head. Looks almost like a stout, but the smell is decidedly more barleywinish, some juicy fruit aromas, wheat, toffee, caramel, very slight dark malt component too. Taste is rich and hearty, some caramel and toffee up front, a bready middle, with juicy citrus in the finish (presumably that clementine juice at work). Mouthfeel is rich and creamy, dense and full bodied, just enough carbonation to tie it all together. Overall, I actually love this beer. It's quite an unusual take on a barleywine, but it still hits the right notes, and is downright delicious. A-

Shep's Memory - 3.7% ABV Bitter - Good for the style, biscuity malts with a very light hop component, light bodied and crushable. B+

BrainHands - 5.5% ABV Pizza Inspired Gose - Whoa, this is unexpectedly fantastic. Nice lemony citrus sourness tempered by earthy spices (does not taste like pizza, but who cares, this is great!) tingly and spicy, even a little heat... A-

Al Baby - 6.8% ABV Hoppy Honey Brown Ale - Nice hoppy brown, solid, easy going stuff. B+

Uyawa Pog - 8% ABV Imperial IPA - Really bright citrus and a sorta honeyed malt backbone, really nice. The citrus is super peach-like too, which is not common (and I don't think they actually used peaches for this, perhaps they're getting this out of the Simcoe/Nelson Sauvin combo?) A-

Stout Budino - 6.3% Dessert Stout - Smore like ingredients, not quite as sweet or rich as that would imply, but a really nice stout, chocolate and roast, like. B+

I Love You, Friend - 7% ABV Rye IPA - Juicy citrus hops up front, rye finish, great... A

Broken Basement - 6.3% ABV IPA - Hopped with Ahtanum and Simcoe, a typically fantastic IPA, maybe some more malt character than usual, still great. A-

Shambolic - 6.5% ABV dry hopped spelt saison - Nice, I feel like it's been a while since TH did something like this, great peppery saison character with a citrus, vinous hop kick... (Update: I opened a bottle of this recently, after a few months in the cellar), and while the hop character is still there, the farmhouse saisony elements came to the fore as well. Great.) A-

Lord Ladybug - 6% ABV dark sour cherry Berliner Weisse - Very tart, puckering sour beer. Chocolate covered cherries. Me likey. B+

EXTOL - 7.6% ABV Imperial Porter - my kinda porter, sweet, low roast, dark chocolate (hint of coffee?), very nice B+

Wilbur - 5.9% ABV Rye IPA - nice rye character, floral hops, well matched, very good! B+

Everything was Beautiful and Nothing Hurt - 6.6% ABV Black Coffee Saison - Interesting mixture of elements, earthy saison yeast, fruity hops, and just a bit of that roasty coffee. B+

PowerChord - 4.2% ABV Crushable IPA - Beautiful citrus hop nose (clearly Mosaic hops involved here), more floral and piney in the taste, quaffable. B+

Exact Negative Charge - 7.7% ABV emptiness saison - Typical funky TH saison, very nice, really fruity, light earth, not a ton of funk, but really nice! B+

Sunulate - 6.4% ABV blood orange & chamomile saison - Solid stuff, not as funky, but really nice floral and citrus notes... B+

Go Ride A Bike - 5.5% ABV crushable IPA - Motueka bomb, lots of citrus and a little dank pine, crushable! A-

Exploding Nuclear Cauldron - 5.1% hoppy honey Grissette - Lemon zest, light spice, grassy hops, soft feel, really nice and refreshing... A-

Experience Neutral Chamber - 5.7% ABV emptiness saison - Bright, fruity funk, light salinity, lemon zest, quaffable... B+

Modern Artisinal Tragedy - 6.8% honey saison - Straightforward saison stuff, typical TH quality, very nice peppery spice and light hop character... B+

BloodRoot - 6.6% hoppy red saison - Brewed with rye, and you can tell, big spicy note along with peppery yeast, and a good amount of hop character, including more bitterness than I'm used to from TH - nothing wrong with that, of course... B+

Only Void 2014 - 11% imperial stout - This year's version is slightly less alcohol and not as sweet as last year's version. As a result, more roast and chocolate come to the fore. Still very nice. A

Here Lies - 2.5% hoppy bitter - Whoa, very tasty for such an extremely low alcohol beer. Beautiful hoppy nose, perhaps not as intense, but really tasty. Totally quaffable, not as thin as you'd expect, but very light. Crushable! B+

Gose is My Copilot - 4.7% Gose - Wheated Gose with sea salt, lime juice and zest, and cilantro from Jeans garden. Well balanced, sour, a little sticky. I'm not really a huge Gose fan or anything, but this is very nice (I got a growler, made a Top Gun ("Talk to me, Gose") joke on twitter, but no one got it, or they did and didn't care). B+

Savage Gold - 5.2% ABV IPA - Nelson Sauvin and Hallertau Blanc... Typically great tired hands ipa, beautiful hop character, crushable. A-

Boogie Board - 5.2% ABV blended saison (some 4 month cab franc barrel aged saison in the blend) - Very nice saison, light barrel character, but a big juicy fruit kick, tart lemons and grapes, some typical saison spice, super smooth, a little acidic, highly drinkable. A-

Fool in the Full Moon - 6% ABV coffee wheat porter - So I entered the name for this beer, but took no notes. I'm the worst. I'm pretty seriously doubting that anyone will ever actually read this though. Why am I even doing this?

Carpet on your Heart - 6% ABV Rye IPA - Darker and more substantial than your typical TH IPA, perhaps even more bitterness than usual, but great hop presence, juicy citrus, very well composed. B+

Watching Trees Decompose - 7% ABV blueberry IPA - Very pretty, a striking amber purple with light purple head... Taste has an extra sweetness that battles with the citrus hops, still decent beer though. B+

Reincarnated as a Cloud - 6.1% ABV Wheat IPA - More of a bitter bite here than normal, but a very nice citrus and pine hop character and clean wheat makes this worthy. B+

Green Fuzz - 7% ABV Cucumber Galaxy IPA - holy cucumber, Batman! I don't think of cucumber as being a particularly powerful aroma or flavor, but it's here in spades... Though more standard ipa notes come through too. B+

Red Fuzz - 6.5% Raspberry & Sumac Saison - Another one where I wrote the name, but not any notes. I really am the worst.

Psychic Facelift - 6.5% ABV Citra IPA - Beautiful, juicy IPA, all sorts of citrus, super quaffable, absolutely superb! Drank, like, 3 liters of this stuff during the one week it was on tap (it's rare that I get something more than once, so that's saying something). A

Yeast & Cats - 6.4% ABV wheat saison - Typically great TH saison, distinctive farmhouse awesome. B+

Ambassador Aardvark - 4.5% ABV Berlinerweiss - I seem to be relying on the "typical TH style" description for these reviews, and this is no exception - this is a typical TH Berliner and it's quite nice. Tart, tasty, and refreshing. B+

I See A Darkness - 8.5% ABV imperial honey espresso porter - Relatively light on the coffee, which is a good thing in my book, but it's really tasty, nice roast character, a little espresso, really solid stuff. B+

Singel Hop Saison Cascade - 5% ABV - This is a really interesting melding of farmhouse and hops, with neither element dominating. This represents a more balanced take in the series, and it's really nice... A-

Purple Fuzz - 6% ABV blackberry and purple basil Saison - Nice farmhouse going on here, spicy and fruity, though the fruit is not super powerful, well balanced, a little weird in a good way... B+

Yellow Fuzz - 7.2% ABV peach ipa - Beautiful juicy citrus, quaffable, typically great TH IPA! A-

Many Mouths With Pointy Teeth- 6% ABV Rye IPA - Very nice ipa, citrus hops and spicy rye, well carbonated and quaffable. A-

Cyclical Paranoia - 6% ABV Mohogany Hued saison - Light farmhouse with typical saison yeast character, but also some almost vinous notes. B+

Aphillyation - 6.6% Cabernet Franc IPA- Interesting, floral hops, a little grape character and an almost creamy mouthfeel. B+

Paranormalized - 8.2% blended barrel fermented super saison - Very nice saison, spice and fruit, with a very light sourness and decent oaky character. Delicious! A-

Pope Lick Monster - 8.5% imperial Porter - nice and dark, creamy tan head, sweet and roasty, with a mallow finish. B+ or A-

Mind Meet Mind - 6% ABV Coffee IPA - My ambivalence towards coffee is world renowned, but I still enjoyed this well enough. Great hop character, juicy citrus, with some coffee peeking through... B

Funny Top Hat Serenade - 7% ABV Classical Progressive Saison - Very nice saison of the TH house style, with a nice fruity hop character (not bitter though) B+

The Still-Beating Heart of the Hummingbird - 7% ABV Barrel Fermented Saison - Whoa, slightly lactic sourness, but not really that sour. A little oak, and that TH funk, very good! A-

GrassMan - 8.7% ABV Honey Double IPA - Hugely dank DIPA, Nelson Sauvin coming through strong, tropical fruits all over. I'm sure the Citra is contributing to that, but it's got a distinctly grassy character too. A-

Deathtripper - 6.7% ABV IPA - Fabulous, dank, juicy ipa, lots of citrus and pine, delicious. A-

Ekstra - 6.6% ABV collaborative saison - Collab with pizzeria beddia, first TH use of Hallertau... B

Cannibal Okt - 6.2% Sweet Potato IPA - A sorta heftier IPA, more of a balance between hops and sweetness here, quite nice! B

Lizard Man of Scape Ore Swamp - 6.2% ABV IPA - Another great TH house style IPA, less juicy, but still citrus and pine all over, higher than normal carbonation, great! A-

Chupacabra - 6.6% mole Porter - Whoa coffee! A little thinner than your typical Porter, but that matches nicely with the roasty coffee, so it's still tasty! If only I liked coffee more. B

Dobhar-chú - 4.2% heirloom squash bitter - Very nice, clean, malt forward, tasty... Not on cask right now, but would be perfect from the hand pump! B+

Watcher in the Dark - 6% ABV India Black Ale - whoa, beautiful citrus hops is the nose, with that slight roast coming through a little more in the taste, utterly fantastic! A

Corpse Finder - 4.4% ABV Galaxy IPA - Nice citrus, substantial considering the ABV, maybe a little more bitter than typical, but still quite crushable B+

Foliage - 8% ABV Double IPA - awesome, darker than typical TH IPA, sweet, citrusy and floral hops, smooth, medium bodied, delicious! A-

Infinite Universe Mind - 6% ABV sour IPA - Nice! I don't normally go in for sour IPAs but this is very well balanced, light sourness, well integrated, tasty! B+

Fifth Level - 6.2% Single Hop Motueka IPA - Typical TH house style IPA, very nice, juicy hops, yum. B+

Alien Church

Alien Church - 7% ABV IPA - My only notes were: Must. Get. Growler. (And I did. This was a great IPA) A

Window Mirror Section - 6.8% Hearty Wheat Saison fermented in oak barrels with our Emptiness culture and conditioned on oranges - Holy hell, this is Emptiness level stuff. Nice balanced with the oak, funk, and juicy, tart fruitiness. A

ALTAR - 4.6% ABV Berliner Weisse with hibiscus, Madagascar vanilla beans, and cinnamon sticks - I usually enjoy TH's berliners, but this one is a step above the norm. Very well done. A-

Such Passion - 7.5% Simcoe IPA conditioned on passionfruit purée - Um, yes please. Very good. A-

Whatever, Nevermind - 8.1% ABV barrel saison - According to Untappd, this was my 200th checkin at Tired Hands. Holy Crap. A-

So I'll end it there. Despite waiting in line several times over the past month, it's actually been a few weeks since I've made my way over there. I love the Winter, but it's cold and so easy to just stay home. We shall rectify that soon enough, and in time, the new production facility will open and I'll be drinking as much as ever... Alas, I don't know that I'll keep doing these posts. I can't imagine anyone actually reading through all of this, and it's starting to get repetitive (not to mention that just about everything gets B+ or A-, TH breaks my grading scale. Can't even do a curve, really.)

Another Forest & Main Visit

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Forest & Main is a tiny little brewpub in Ambler, PA, which is not really that far from Kaedrin HQ in the grand scheme of things, but is probably a hair too far across the border of what is actually convenient for me, so I don't get my butt up there as often as I probably should. Also, as I've noted before, they share a certain DNA with their chums over at Tired Hands, and I always feel like I'm cheating on my favorite brewpub when I hit up F&M. That being said, they're a solid little brewery and I'm always intrigued by their offerings. Also I don't actually feel like I've been cheating on Tired Hands. That's absurd. Anywho, I've been very neglectful of posting about my visits, so I actually took some basic notes this time. Not great notes, but notes nonetheless. Work with me here. I was drinking.

Double Dan PA

Double Dan PA - Made with two dudes named Dan and a generous helping of American and Australian hops (um, the Dans in question were not, like, ingredients or anything. This isn't a drink of my blood situation or anything). Fantastic citrus nose, with a little pine sneaking around too. More dank resin and pine in the taste, with that citrus brightening things up... Medium bodied, well carbonated, crisp, refreshing, well balanced stuff. Overall, this is probably the best IPA I've had from Forest & Main (though it's not like I've had a ton) and a worthy, distinct take on the style. A-

Beer Nerd Details: 7.7% ABV on tap (16 ounce). Drank out of a nonic pint glass on 12/30/14.

Telemachus - Described as a golden Barleywine made with orange blossom honey. It has a very distinctive, flowery, sweet nose, probably that orange blossom honey coming through strong. Taste is similar, mostly that honey character coming through with very little in the way of malt backbone, though you do get a bit in the way of booze. Low carbonation (if I remember correctly, it was on cask) and medium bodied. This is a very interesting beer, but it doesn't really tickly my subjective fancy, if you know what I mean. B

Beer Nerd Details: 10% ABV on tap (10 ounce). Drank out of a wine glass on 12/30/14.

Rum Barrel-Aged Gmork - Black as night, not much head. Smells of caramel, brown sugar, molasses, rum, vanilla, and the faintest hint of roast. Taste follows the nose, very, very sweet, no roast at all, brown sugar and molasses, rum, almost fruity. Mouthfeel is full bodied, moderate carbonation, slight booziness. Overall, a unique take on the style, I wish I'd actually had the base beer to compare it to, but this is pretty darn good on its own. A-

Beer Nerd Details: 8.5% ABV on tap (10 ounce). Drank out of a nonic half-imperial-pint glass on 12/30/14.

And there you have it. I had a saison that was on tap that night with my burger, but I neglected to take notes because my hands were full and as we've already established, I'm the worst. Hopefully I'll make this more of a regular thing in the future. In the meantime, I think I hear Tired Hands' siren song...

Brooklyn Hand & Seal

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A hand and seal is basically a notarized signature, an official recognition that a given document is authentic. So this barleywine, brewed in honor of the 20th anniversary of Garrett Oliver's reign over Brooklyn Brewery, is offically recognized as being awesome. It's part of Brooklyn's Quarterly Experiments program, a traditional English style barleywine that has been aged for several months in Four Roses bourbon barrels, and yes, it's pretty darn good:

Brooklyn Hand and Seal

Brooklyn Hand & Seal - Pours a murky light brown color with a cap of short lived head. Nose has a lot of bourbon, maybe some fruity malt as well. Not a particularly strong nose, though. Taste is very nice. Lots of sweetness, rich caramel, toffee, dark fruits, bourbon, vanilla, and oak, all playing nice with one another. Mouthfeel is rich and creamy, moderate carbonation, full bodied, a little boozy and warming alcohol in the belly going on. Overall, we've got a very nice sipper of a beer, on style, well balanced and tasty. B+ but it's high on that scale, perhaps even an A- if I'm more generous.

Beer Nerd Details: 13.3% ABV bottled (750 ml caged and corked). Drank out of a tulip glass on 12/20/14. Vintage 2014: Blend #1.

It's been a while since I've sampled any Brooklyn brews, so this was a nice surprise. I've seen some bottles of Cuvee Noire out and about, so perhaps we'll see those here. Or perhaps not. Only time will tell.


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Hi, my name is Mark, and I like beer.

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